Twins

The girls are starting to become more and more aware of what it means to be a twin. I've always tried very hard to keep from treating them as one unit. I very rarely, if ever, refer to them as 'the twins' or dress them identically (especially now that they pick their own clothes most days). I have been stressing to them the benefits of being a twin - like always having a friend around. They have also been taught that they are expected to stick up for one another if there is any bullying or other unfun stuff like that. But, all of that stuff is basically the same as with any sibling - so not really twin specific except that so far they have been in the same class and go to the same activities.

This Thanksgiving they got a taste of some of the less fun stuff about being a twin. B. didn't really seem to notice/mind. But A. actually came up to me at one point and told me she didn't like being a twin. The main thing that bothered her, I think, was everyones insistence that she and her sister look so alike that it's impossible to tell them apart or at least to remember which one is which. There was a constant stream of 'ok, can you tell us which is which?' or 'oh man you changed clothes now I can't tell again' or just general discussion about different ways to tell them apart. Now, all these comments are pretty normal and the girls are used to it and tend to just grin and ignore it. But this time it seemed constant because of the many visits to different family members. And because they don't see this part of the family very often they were feeling a bit shy and overwhelmed by all the attention. Being the center of attention and being scrutinized closely by a bunch of almost-strangers has got to be scary! I have to admit that I did contribute a bit. I shouldn't have given in to the fun of confusing in-laws. But I did. I dressed the girls the same. Twice. Not a good parenting choice. In my defense, I didn't realize it would bother A. like it did. Both girls spent a lot of the week looking with wide-eyed semi-terror at random relations who were discussing loudly the girls' various ear lumps and face freckles and shapes.

A. has also, recently, been concerned that her teacher sometimes mixes up her name with her sister's. We agreed, though, that it's much better to be confused with a sister who looks a lot like you than with another kid who gets in trouble a lot! (She told me her teacher at school mixes up two boys' names who are constantly needing to be reprimanded :)

Also, even though A. has her moments of wishing away her twin-ness, she did get very upset when I told her that when Lil Jo goes to school she won't be in the same class with A and B. Sometimes she just needs to be reminded of the benefits :) I tell her almost everyone I know has wished they were a twin!

Here's a sample of our home-taken Christmas pictures - in case you're not on the Christmas Card mailing list.

See...it's not because they're twins that they look the same...it's that ALL my children look the same :) We've had people ask us if they are triplets. What would you respond? (There is a 3 and almost a half year difference between them!)