A Night at the Drive-in

Groggy A. says "I want to go to church but no shower"...only three and already finding ways to sleep in :-)

This morning I had to wake the girls up at 9:30....shocking I know...but not all that surprising since we left the drive in around 1:00am. So, they got their 8 hours and are now taking a nap to recover.

We went to see a double feature of Wall-e and Kung Fu Panda. The web site said gates open at 7pm so we just planned to get there around that time. The movie was supposed to start when it got dark. I have no idea what time it gets dark - so I figured by the time we got some food and settled in the movie would start...hahahahaha. It gets dark a little after 9! So even with two trips through the loooooooooong concession line and a walk and eating supper, we still had a lot of waiting time. The girls thought the movie would NEVER start (I was thinking the same thing!). I think next time we'll go a little later - although, there was already a line of 20 or so cars at the gate when we showed up at 6:45. I think a less ideal parking location might be worth a shorter wait.

But this was my first ever trip to a drive in, and, despite the baby's grumpy spell (more on that in a minute), it was totally cool. Like tail gating but with a more exciting show! I like football, but it really takes some effort for me to care about more than the marching band. Going to movies, on the other hand, is one of my all time favorite things to do - and this was two movies for the price of one! Yay!

Yes, we're probably horrible for keeping the kids out that late. BUT my kids are pretty good about sleeping in when they stay up late. They also somehow figured out that Kung Fu Panda was coming up so they we talking about it before Wall-e was even over.

Our main snag of the evening was poor Baby. I figured she would be easy - I would feed her and then put her in her car seat and she would just sleep. But she was too hot and gets very fussy when she's hot. I'm not all that patient when I'm hot - so we were quite a pair. I finally had the husband shut the hatch on us so we wouldn't be so loud (I was just waiting for the neighbors to start boo-ing us or something). Shutting the hatch made both of us hotter, but I was able to calm down because I was less stressed about grumpy people yelling at me. I laid her down on the floor in the back so she was able to cool off a bit, and she did eventually fall asleep and snoozed the rest of the time.

As for a movie review: Both were good. I need to rewatch both of them. I would be better off not liking childrens' movies because I could just concentrate on keeping the kids happy and wouldn't be sad about missing the movie. I think both movies were more for boys....but the girls stayed pretty interested anyway.

Hopefully we'll get to go again! Just have to wait for another kid friendly double feature (or a babysitter!)

Learning more everyday...

A. can write her name now. She still likes for me to write it out so she can check the order of the letters...but she can write them all recognizably. B. is having trouble - her name has harder letters (more curves) and is also one letter longer. So I'm making connect the dot letters for her. We talk through each letter: first a straight line then a curve from this dot through that dot and back to this dot - etc. I think A. is a little bit ahead coordination-wise, too. I'm holding off on teaching them the alphabet and how to write all of the letters because the book I'm going to use to teach them to read has them use some extra symbols that represent the extra sounds letters make (ie C as a hard and soft c has different symbols). I think they are almost ready for reading lessons. First, I had to figure out how to occupy one while I teach the other because trying to teach them together would be difficult. I would have to keep them from distracting each other, and one of them always takes the lead while the other watches. Thank goodness for preschool Internet sites! So, we're all set to start at the beginning of the school year. We're learning how to write names and probably numbers in preparation for the 15 minute reading lessons. It's also a practice in patience for me.

**Side note***Kids are usually pretty excited to write their names to send to Grandma and Grandpa - but they lose interest around the time they are asked to write their names for the 3rd set of Grandparents. And just try explaining to a three year old which of their three sets of rural living Kansas grandparents get each picture! All three sets use 'Grandma' and 'Papa' as their names too. Luckily my dad and his wife have different names ('Sugar' and 'Colonel') so that clears that up a bit - of course my dad has kids not much older than mine so they seem less like Grandparents than the other three sets.

Another Grandparent note...we ate supper with a couple who had 'Grandma' in town. The girls chattered nonstop at her and A. was totally heartbroken that she didn't come to Wal-Mart with us. A. had somehow got it in her mind that since we were making pictures for Grandma and Papa that they were coming to our house. She kept asking if they were here yet :(. So she was pretty willing to adopt the 'Grandma' at supper and all the more upset to find out we weren't going to spend any more time with her. It's those times that I feel the most guilty for living far away from all the Grandparents.

No More Fear

I'm done with being afraid. I will not obsessively worry anymore. I've said it before - but it was always 'I'm trying to stop' or 'I'm working on stressing less'. But this time I'm being aggressive. I know that God did not give me a spirit of fear (although I can't give you the book and verse - it's in there), and I'm tired of wasting my life imagining horrible things that might happen while missing the good things that are happening.

A few days ago I was making brownies and as usual I decided to have a few licks on the spoon after loading up the pan. My girls had 'helped' me mix it all up and came in wanting to taste too. I, of course, started to say no - because raw eggs are dangerous. BIG SCARY RAW EGGS. Then I realized that my fear of eggs (which Alton Brown on Food Network dismisses as merely ruining some good recipes that call for raw eggs) was keeping my children from experiencing something that was definitely a highlight of my childhood. I loved, as I'm sure many kids did, licking the spoon/whisk/bowl with my mom after making cookies or cakes. Yes, there is a risk to it. I know that raw eggs can potentially make you sick. But my kids are almost 4, and I know not to use cracked eggs. And, for crying out loud, it turns out it's just as dangerous to eat raw tomatoes. AND they have already been fed homemade ice cream with raw eggs by their grandparents (against my better judgement - and yes, I worried a lot about that one), and they survived.

My point is that I know, and really have always known, that you can't protect yourself or your kids against everything that might get them. So, starting yesterday I'm going to pray and move on. Yes, I believe in safety first- but I'm done with extremes. Besides no matter how safe I try to be I still have a mind lapses and dangerous things happen. Or I turn around at the pool after rescuing one kid from taking off to find the other one totally gone. Disappeared - and not afraid of being submerged. My children have absolutely no fear of drowning. They think it's fun to go under - they know someone will pull them up. So I do my best - but my confidence is in the Lord - because He's the only one who can really keep us safe.



****The kids took one tiny taste of brownie batter and decided they didn't want it. When they received their cooked brownies, they didn't want them. A. said "Mama we don't want those brownies, we need the ones from Wal-Mart." (step-mom pointed out that cosmic brownies from Wal-Mart have fun colored sprinkles on top - so I shouldn't be too offended)

?

Me: "A. why is that baby eating that box?"

A.: "Because her likes to chew my toys."

Yes. True. Just thought a puzzle box was an odd choice.

Quotes

This morning
A: "Mama could you come open that top drawer so we can get that other kitty than the kitty with stripes that doesn't have stripes just fur" - Translation: we need the non-striped stuffed kitty.


Last night
B: "We don't eat that fish because it's green" - Translation: we don't eat that shark that is depicted in this cartoon because it is green and green food is unacceptable. Now if it had been a regularly colored shark, we would eat it because we eat sharks (the girls have eaten shark and hold it in the highest esteem as a meat - if a meat is yummy they say "mama I think this is shark - we eat shark." B. also believes all green food is icky - and calls all chunks of food she doesn't like 'greens' whether or not said chunks are actually green)


Thought of the weekend:
Baby seems to have several different sides and at times I find it hard to believe they are all the same baby. There's the very determined eater whose little eyes roll back in her head in satisfaction before she dozes off - little eater has also taken to scratching her head while eating - like she's in deep thought about it all. Then there is 'Happy Baby' who loves to laugh, 'talk', shriek, and 'sing.' The side that seems the least familiar to me is the 'from far away baby.' I recognize her, but she just looks so different when she is being held by someone else. That probably reflects on the fact that she hasn't started towards independence yet. And finally there is 'crying, fussy baby' who doesn't come out all that often - a little more lately because of the new tooth. This is the scariest side of all babies, I think, because they seem like they just can't be reached - they have departed to the land of baby misery, and it's our job to figure out how to bring them back. I remember being almost desparate to break through to B. when she was nearly hysterical with crying. It seemed like she was totally unaware of me or anything around her - so how could I comfort her? She's still hard to calm once she has gone past a certain point of frustration.

I find it amazing that babies are still such a mystery....you'd think we'd have them totally figured out by now!

Firsts

Baby has her first tooth. Sort of happy - sort of sad about all that. New things are exciting - but she'll never have that toothless gummy grin again. Growing up sooo fast! Her sisters were a lot older before they got any teeth. I think her second one is coming in too. I'm hoping it is because otherwise she's just sleeping less and spitting up more for no reason. I attributed those things last week to the new tooth - and then she had about 2 days of more sleeping - but we're back to fighting the naps. At least she's been sleeping better at night!

Another first - first word (I'm not actually counting this as the first word - but it was funny) - the other day A. was playing with Baby in her bouncer and handed her a little stuffed elephant. Baby, of course, puts it in her mouth. She then makes a funny face and says 'yuck'. Now I know baby's make lots of sounds that moms and dads swear were words - but B. turned to me and said "mama she said yuck." So I have a second opinion.

The girls were presented with pudding in a cup for the first time this week. They've had pudding just never snack pack style. B. calls it chocolate applesauce. This makes sense since I usually give them applesauce in cups (one of my grocery splurges - jarred applesauce is way cheaper - but this particular applesauce is sugar free and comes with various flavors like berries or peaches - my rationalization is that they are getting more 'colors' in their diet so it's worth the extra cost).

This week is also the girls first VBS. They seem to be enjoying it. Husband and I have been making up for 5 months of no couple time (and probably that many more at least coming up) by eating out each night. It's also his birthday today and Father's Day on Sunday so we have lots of rationalization for the fine dining ( if you can call chipotle and Wild Wing Cafe fine dining!). It also probably doesn't totally count as couple time since we have Baby with us, but she usually sleep through most of supper and hasn't really caused any disruption. After dining out with twins, she seems pretty easy.


Well off to VBS and b-day party!

Invisible

I have always been one of those people that sort of blends into the wall paper. I've been told that I don't talk loud enough. Whatever. I also had a very gregarious younger sister who I felt was much sweeter, cuter, etc than I was so I probably self-sabotaged a bit. My friends were always a bit shocked to hear me described by acquaintances as 'quiet'. Anyway for the most part that doesn't bother me - I don't need the spotlight and don't even like it much. But that changes just a little when you have children. Because everyone (I assume) believes their children are the most amazing little creatures ever invented, and everyone wants to hear positive things about their children.
So today at church when I left my little angel baby - who, to me, is the sweetest baby I've ever met - I expected at least a few ooo's and ah's over her. She is very social and smiley - and so, even if I am biased about her cuteness - she is worthy of attention and interaction - as are all babies. I was nervous about leaving her since it was the first time with strangers and since there a lot of other babies in there right now (I'm counting at least 5 off the top of my head).
When I went to pick her up I showed up with another mom whose baby was born a week after mine - it's her first so I of course expect that she will get more attention than we would - but this was a bit ridiculous, in my opinion. As we walked in we were greeted by a teen saying how happy, playful, and wonderful this womans daughter was. All of the many women in nursery were enraptured talking about the antics of said baby who is currently sleeping. My baby was being held at the back of the room...I walked through the room and had to actually touch the person holding my baby for her to realize I was there and trying to take my baby. I felt like they really were pulling themselves away from the main event to tell me my baby was fine and seemed sleepy now. She's only 4 months and already being turned into a wall flower??!!?? Watching from the sidelines while others are treated as if they are more important - if she grows into a shy non-spotlight type on her own thats fine - but I don't want her there as a baby. All babies should be treated as the cutest in the nursery at least by whichever particular person is in charge of that baby.

It's stupid that I'm so upset - I shouldn't care. But when the girls were babies we lived close to three sets of grandparents, and aunts, uncles, cousins, great aunts, great uncles, etc, etc. And they were pretty much the only babies in our church so the church family spoiled them and loved on them. I know we made the decision to move away from the family, but I expected the church family to take over. To some extent they have - there are definitely people who take time out to love on my baby. But I hate that one so sweet is being under appreciated.

It's expecting too much to want others to see what I see in my children - that's why I'm their mama. (I'm reminding myself)

I'm now going to go read some news to remind myself how good we actually have it as a family and that there are definitely lots of children out their who deserve just as much loving as my children but who aren't getting any.

This blog brought to you by people who don't answer their phones when I need to vent.

Little Retailers...

Yesterday the girls were playing a new game. One of them would sit in the center of a donut shaped play mat of the baby's - the other would bring up an item of some sort (a bag of the baby's toys, the baby's seat, a little tin box etc) and say "You can buy this for sale?" The little 'cashier' in the center of the donut would then nod and take the item and 'scan' it over the little mirror on the play mat and say 'beep'. Then she handed the item back along with one of the shapes that Velcro onto the mat in another section. They continued the above until all of the shapes had been handed out and then switched positions. I'm not entirely sure why the cashier was handing back the purchased item and the 'money' but that seemed to be their grasp on how it all works.

Today when the husband went out to the garage B. said 'don't forget to shut the door Daddy'. She repeated it until he responded. Just like their mama.

Internet

The Internet sucks away my time - sometimes that's great, sometimes, obviously, not so great. I started my relationship with my computer in college - and that was even before the myspace craze started. Back then we just had IM and SNOOD. After college I had a 2 and a half year span of no Internet - we didn't have a computer. Looking back I wonder how I survived - how could I live that cut off from everything! But it was nice; nothing to distract me from watching the kids play (well, there are always the books distracting me...), no compulsion to see if I have new email. Then we moved to the middle of nowhere (more middle of nowhere than SW Kansas is NW Kansas) and decided we needed Internet to stay connected. The myspace addiction started - but after awhile I was bored with that. I'd found most of my long lost friends and didn't really have any more profiles to peruse. But the Internet sucked me in again - the next phase was the news sites. I checked at least 3 to 4 news sites each morning before I started my day. It was more an excuse to enjoy my morning cup of tea than anything...but once I started I would wind up spending at least an hour depressing myself with all the horrific happenings in my area and around the world. Eventually I decided that it was better to just not know what's going on....so on to the facebook phase. The sister urged me to join up just as I was again losing interest with the web. Facebook had new things like addictive games and other fun applications; how many hours did I spend rating movies??? Lots and lots...thousands of movies have been rated by me...
When baby came, I went through a (very) short time of not feeling like messing with the computer. But that short time just made it worse after because I had sooo much catching up to do! Friends to touch base with etc! And now the blog...I know I'm behind on this...but one blog got me reading...then starting my own...now I have several blogs that I feel like I must read or check daily. BUT, they are starting to slow down on their postings, so maybe another respite from the constant pull toward the screen.

I guess I'll just go check my email one more time before lunch....