Foggy Days

I have spent the past few weeks in a perpetual fog of sleep deprivation.

Baby J. was a good sleeper for the first 4 months of her life - this means: she would wake up a few times a night to eat and then go straight back to sleep, and she would take 2-3 hour naps - sometimes several in one day. Occasionally, she would be awake for the day a bit earlier than I liked, but really I had no complaints. In fact, I was shocked that babies could be as 'easy' as she was. (I think I talk some about this easiness in previous blogs) She even slept through the night (9:30-4:30/5:00) several times. So, I was tired, but not as tired as I expected to be.

But, about 2 months ago - around the time she got her first teeth, and after we moved her out of her bassinet and into a crib - she decided she didn't want to sleep anywhere but next to me. I would wake up to nurse her and put her back in bed as usual, but instead of going back to sleep she would start to cry. I think one night I nursed her 7 times before she finally stayed asleep and then only for an hour. Since the shift occurred - most nights have involved at least 3 wakings. Then, a few weeks ago, I started waking up with her in bed with me. I had a vague memory of going to the bathroom and moving her into my bed - but I didn't wake up enough to realize that she really should be sleeping in her bed. After a week of that and our trip to Kansas, I decided to start weening her off night time feedings in an attempt to get her to sleep through the night (she's slept through the night a few times AND at 6 months is old enough to not need to eat at night - according to such and such and so and so Pediatricians). She is also transitioning into her crib for naps. The two combined mean no sleep and no down time for me.

The naps are going ok - but she now only naps for about an hour at a time. Our nights, however, are how I expected them to be with a newborn....awake every hour or two. Last night I was so exhausted I gave up - I nursed her and put her in bed with me around 1am....and she proceed to wiggle and squirm ALL night. The La Leche article I read on night weening was totally unhelpful - mainly because all the women are co-sleeping and trying to night wean their 15-month or older babies. I really wouldn't even mind still doing a once-a-night feeding, if it meant she would sleep the rest of the night. I've tried more clothes, in case she's cold, a noise maker etc. She seems uncomfortable or something, and I can't fix it. She also has the roll-over issue. She likes to sleep on her side, but she keeps trying to bury her face in the mattress (a nursing reflex type of deal) which causes her to flip onto her belly - and makes her wide awake.

I don't really know what the point of this whole message is...I just feel tired...and being tired really affects how I parent. I have such a short temper when I'm tired...and hot...cause it's really, really hot. I feel like a weenie being grumpy over a little lost sleep....I've been sleep deprived for over half of my life, and it never really seemed to bother me. But somehow I think 5 or 6 hours of continuous sleep trumps 8 hours of interrupted sleep - especially if it's interrupted several times.

Exhaustion leads to more things than grumpiness, though, it also causes an extreme lack of motivation and a desire to sit and munch things (I can't sleep while the kids are awake so I might as well eat something!) - basically a downward spiral into obesity.

BUT 'this too shall pass' as whichever of my relatives always quotes from somewhere....I will get sleep again someday, and maybe even some energy! YAY!

Latest Words from the Wild Ones

****As I type this the girls are saying 'AH' as big as they can, putting their faces almost touching, and yelling into each others mouths - weird.*****

~~A few months ago we were checking out at Wal-Mart. A. was sitting in her cart a little off to the side (it must have been full and the husband was working on loading up the other one), and she looks up to the ceiling and says, quite loudly: "Hey God! You there, God"


~~Last week B. came out and informed the lady in our living room that "Daddy has a tail on the front of his tushy." Very luckily, this lady has an almost 4 year old son...or I might have died of embarrassment. And Daddy will HAVE to start remembering to close the door when he 'goes.'

~~At church on Sunday both girls tell the assistant pastor in a discussion about Baby J.: "Her bites Mama"...yes her does, very hard!

~~This morning I hear fussy noises coming from the living room.
Me: B. why are you whining??
B.: I'm whining because of the whales.
-I never got a clear explanation on this one...she was looking at pictures of whales in National Geographic....


AND...my horrible, shocking moment of the week: 10 month old boy leans over Baby J.'s car seat and BITES HER ON THE HEAD. He was looking at her...then pulling on her arm (this is the point that I start to move to intervene) then he bends over to squeeze her face, she starts to cry, I shoosh him away - then I realize that while sqeezing he was biting. And, in a room full of women including this kids mom, I'm the only one that sees it happen. Little boy runs off and his mom will never know.....luckily he only leaves some temporary marks and doesn't break the skin....because, um, ew. Poor baby is the first of my children to be bitten by a stranger.

Stupid Food!

I really dislike cooking - or more accurately - shopping for the right ingredients to prepare a variety of healthy meals for my family. I'm not inspired to try new recipes, mainly because they tend to turn out very mediocre at best. It's also extremely expensive to buy healthy food - lean meats, fresh fruits and veggies, whole grain....and now ORGANIC! ARG! Ok, lets go pay double for all the food you originally couldn't afford anyway. Here I am reading about all the horrible hormones in milk that will give my kids breasts at age 5 - but I can't even afford milk - the government buys it for us.

And now, the final straw, the one food that my children will eat no matter what, at any time of day, over and over and over.....is probably increasing their chances of leukemia and brain tumors. I would love to buy a farm and grow and can all my own food. Grind my own wheat for bread, make butter, cheese etc from the cows (or goats) I milk...but really how feasible is that???

And yet, death by food is just one of the many, many, many dangers out there. Why focus on this one? Probably because all the pregnancy literature really hounds women to watch what they eat...and now I'm stuck with that worry.

I'm tired of it. I do the best I can - just like I buckle my kids in their car seats and do my best to keep them out of the street. But I can't be perfect with safety or with health food.

So I'm back to trusting God. This time for health. It's amazing how often one comes back to the little sayings learned in Elementary school - "Do my best and let God do the rest" - so that's what I'm going to do.

Little Note.

This morning I got up to make the husband's lunch as usual. It wasn't usual that I had to stay awake to get ready for an appointment. Because I was awake, I watched some of the Weather Channel with the husband. They were talking about flooding in Schenectady, New York. I commented to the husband about the weirdness of that town's name and that I had never heard of it. Then this afternoon I was reading Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut and up pops a character from Schenectady, New York. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.....what are the odds that the same strangely named town would show up twice in one day?!?

Where's the drama?

Today the big girls started screaming, and I looked over just in time to see them pull the head off of their blonde barbie. I expected tears and an immediate demand for a repair. Instead, both girls stopped and looked at the barbie. They both said to each other 'you broke her' and then took turns playing with the head and the body. It was like they had received two new toys. A bit alarming, I thought. They did eventually bring the barbie over to me to fix - unfortunately there was a small piece broken off and the ball joint was lost in the cavern of Barbie's head...so she is now neck-less and if they pull hard enough she will be head-less again.

For lunch today I made a fruit salad. I don't think I've ever made one before - this was a very simple combination of apple, orange, grapes, banana, and blueberry with lime juice. A friend made a fruit salad with lime juice a few weeks ago, and I was amazed at how nice of a combo the lime was with the other fruits. Since limes are on sale for 20 for a dollar (key limes), we got some. Last night I made a limeade that was pretty yummy. My hands are a bit sore from squeezing tons of tiny limes!

B. surprised me today by eating her sandwich in tact. Both girls have always been sandwich deconstructionists no matter how many times I show them that sandwiches are supposed to be eaten in one piece. Unfortunately, after a few bites B. decided she didn't want the sandwich. She told me she was done and then started acting suspicious because she was closing the bathroom door and telling me not to look in there. I found the sandwich on the bathroom sink. She has now extended her food hiding places away from the table. I'm going to have to be constantly searching for stashed food...

Catch up

Been busy (for me) the last week, so here's a quick update:

I spent most of last week gearing up for a whirl-wind trip to Kansas for a wedding. One of my college roommates was the beautiful bride and asked me and the other 3 roommies to be bridesmaids. I took Baby J. with me because she's still nursing (and I don't pump). So the husband got to have a fun Daddy/daughter weekend with the big girls.

The trip went well. Baby J. loved watching people in the airport and trying to get them to smile back at her. My mom flew out to help me with the baby and she and Baby J. had fun playing in back areas while the rest of us did wedding stuff. I enjoyed seeing several good, old friends, despite the fact that they are all in very different stages of life than I am. I was the only parent of our roommie bunch so felt a bit alien, and I'm sure they all got sick of hearing about my main topics of expertise (breastfeeding, potty training, staying sane while staying home with 3 high-drama girls, etc). The weather was nice, the wedding was beautiful - especially the flowers - and all the logistics worked out nicely. I rented a car for the first time and found it a rather enjoyable experience (but haven't checked my bank account yet to assess the full damage of the weekend).

I didn't realize until I got home, but Baby J. has now had more commercial flying experience than her Daddy and sisters. Her sisters spent the weekend swimming in the backyard pool, learning how to further navigate their internet game sites, and eating mostly hot dogs and candy. I'd say they had a good weekend too :)


Today we had an appointment with girls' new pediatrician. After about 45 minutes of filling out paperwork (about 8 pages per child), we got all three girls checked - the big girls got hearing tests, too, and Baby J. had her shots (and an oral vaccine which was totally new to me). I was very satisfied with the new doctor and her office and staff. The doctor said it is ok to start Baby J. on some veggies and fruits now that she has had cereal about 5 times. So...

Tonight Baby J. had her first green beans. She seemed to like them....she ate half a jar. I bought some sweet potatoes and peas to try also. I want to get her very into veggies before we start fruits. The doctor also ok-ed yogurt which makes me happy. I look at yogurt as a sort of health maker. Those little bacteria in yogurt are awesome. I wish I liked the stuff!


We had two little instances of drama from the big girls over the last two days:

First, we decided to try pull-ups for A. since she still needs protection at night (we had just been using diapers, but there's something sort of disturbing about diapering an almost 4 year old). The pull-ups are designed to make little kids like them - ie pretty princesses on them. So, I was concerned that B. would decide she would rather wear the pull-ups than underwear. To keep that from happening and reward B. for not needing the pull-ups, I got her a Cinderella toothbrush. This broke A.'s heart. There were tears - lots and lots of tears. Never mind that she was all excited about her new princess diapers - it was still the end of the world when B. got out her new toothbrush. Who would have ever guessed that toothbrushes made that much of a difference?!? I felt horrible - but I can't 'reward' A. for still wetting at night while B. gets nothing for staying dry. Things seem to have calmed down on night 3 of the new diapers/toothbrush...but I'm guessing that's only because A. conned B. into sharing the toothbrush...

Second drama involved the swimming pool. The girls used it yesterday, and we didn't empty it. We only drain it every three days or so to conserve water. Well, we have a flowering tree/bush that is dropping it's flowers (and has been for the past few weeks), so the pool had some flowers and leaves in it. The girls were adamant that they could not swim with flowers in the pool. I refused to scoop flowers out. So, again, we had tears...and hysterics... I tried to help them find ways of getting the flowers out, but none were acceptable. After ten minutes of tears and almost-tantrums, both girls were put to bed until Daddy got home. Luckily, Baby J. was able to sleep through the very noisy transition from pool to bed. And, Daddy came home about 20 minutes later and got us all calmed down. Thank goodness!!!

I just realized that I forgot to drain the pool....imagine the horror of another day and night's worth of flowers added to the already traumatizingly flowerful water......scary.

Lazy Days

Oh, to be three again...


The (big) girls spent the afternoon playing in their little plastic pool. After they exhausted themselves with the little built-in slide, they started floating. It was a bit alarming looking over and seeing only toes and legs. I kept having to do head checks ( this is the procedure in which I insist on seeing two little heads pop up over the side of the pool) because they were so quiet. They spent almost an hour just floating. I would have LOVED to be able to do that - but the pool is just not deep enough and if I get in little wet girlies have to climb on me. I did get in a lot of nice relaxing reading time though because Baby J. snoozed all afternoon in her swing.

So the house didn't get organized and the laundry is in the washing machine....but it's worth it. Some my favorite summer time memories are of playing and floating in the backyard stock tank. Another favorite was/is listening to the locusts/cicadas...unfortunetly the girls are not into it. They actually get scared and plug their ears. They call it 'that loud, snake noise.' I thought they were just being hysterical on one particular day, but then today I noticed A. randomly plugging her ears. I had to ask her what was wrong because I didn't even notice the sound. My mom would really be horrified - they are afraid of frogs, cicadas, dogs....*sigh* 'city kids'...


Other excitement....but not good kind....I found another cockroach in my room. It was in the process of dying - but still, it was in there. I think it might have come in with the box of diapers - I read that they like to eat cardboard....but who knows. I'm really just trying to convince myself that the things aren't going keep getting in there. Every time I find one in the house I feel like packing up and moving North...far, far, far North - where tree roaches are just nightmares, not realities.

Point to Ponder

C.S. Lewis is amazing - he answers all sorts of questions that I have but can't even put into words. Here's a bit out of 'Mere Christianity' that I read today:

'He [the devil] always sends errors into the world in pairs --pairs of opposites. And he always encourages us to spend a lot of time thinking which is the worse. You see why, of course? He relies on your extra dislike of the one error to draw you gradually into the opposite one. But do not let us be fooled. We have to keep our eyes on the goal and go straight through between both errors. We have no other concern than that with either of them.'

Such a good point I had to post it somewhere :)


The entire book is awesome - highly recommended! And I thought the only books worth reading were fiction or in story form!

'Making Memories' as Mom would say.

***Started on the 3rd of July****
We have been promising the girls a pool for several weeks now. The one we wanted to get was one of the plastic ones that sit outside of Wal-Mart with the built in slide. Unfortunately, before we could get one this spring, we lost our pick-up access due to a job change. Several folks have said they would help us get said pool, but the scheduling never worked out. We decided we were going to get the pool TODAY so we could have it for the holiday weekend. There was a pick-up available, but it was clear across town from our house and the Wal-Mart. So, we decided to try and tie the pool to the top of our SUV and take it home that way. We only live a mile or so from Wal-Mart so it was feasible. Well, we bought the pool and then discovered we didn't have any rope in the car. This led to the embarrassment of putting the pool on top of the car and each of us holding onto it through the window. Bright pink pool with an arm on each side holding it down -quite a sight. I was all mad at the husband for telling me inside that I walked like a turtle (he was actually commenting on my speed not my gait), but I couldn't keep from laughing most of the way home.

****Now it's the 4th****
We went to see the fireworks tonight....and somehow we always seem to wind up back at Wal-Mart. This time it was just the parking lot. We had no idea where to go for a good view of the fireworks but noticed a ton of people in lawn chairs in the Wal-Mart parking lot. So we figured they must know what they were doing and pulled in for the show. The fireworks wound up being directly above the Wal-Mart gas station awning. Seems like Wal-Mart is just determined to furnish everything we need from groceries and diapers to pools and fireworks viewing areas. But the girls loved the fireworks, and we were far enough away that they weren't too loud. (B. does not tolerate loud)


Then the husband and I were blessed with a romantic evening of front lawn firework viewing. After we got home from the big fireworks event we tried sitting on the lawn with the kids to mooch off the neighbors' fireworks, but we were just too close and it was way to loud for A. and B. (Baby J was unperturbed - it takes a lot to rattle her) So, we took all the kids in and put them to bed then made some popcorn and returned to the lawn. We had an awesome hour or so of big bangs and pretty fountains thanks to our neighbors. After popcorn we had some leftover homemade ice cream. I couldn't have asked for a nicer date. All these months of virtually no alone time with each other (even our week of catch up dates during VBS had a little Baby J tag-a-long), and then God gives us an evening of perfect weather, exhausted kids, and firework-loving neighbors. It really was nice.

Now off to bed and here's hoping the tired kids sleep in tomorrow!

Escape Artist

Baby figured out today, at a little over five months, how to get out of the Bumbo seat. The first time it happened she was watching the girls eat lunch and they came running in to tell me she got out of her seat...next time I had her watching me cook and turned around and she was out. So, I put her back in for my husband to see and got the camera....pretty impressive. It involves arching her back so her head almost touches the floor - this causes her tush to come up enough that she can pull her legs out of the holes, then she flips.

I don't know if this means she's advanced for her age - but she is definitely strong.