Invisible

I have always been one of those people that sort of blends into the wall paper. I've been told that I don't talk loud enough. Whatever. I also had a very gregarious younger sister who I felt was much sweeter, cuter, etc than I was so I probably self-sabotaged a bit. My friends were always a bit shocked to hear me described by acquaintances as 'quiet'. Anyway for the most part that doesn't bother me - I don't need the spotlight and don't even like it much. But that changes just a little when you have children. Because everyone (I assume) believes their children are the most amazing little creatures ever invented, and everyone wants to hear positive things about their children.
So today at church when I left my little angel baby - who, to me, is the sweetest baby I've ever met - I expected at least a few ooo's and ah's over her. She is very social and smiley - and so, even if I am biased about her cuteness - she is worthy of attention and interaction - as are all babies. I was nervous about leaving her since it was the first time with strangers and since there a lot of other babies in there right now (I'm counting at least 5 off the top of my head).
When I went to pick her up I showed up with another mom whose baby was born a week after mine - it's her first so I of course expect that she will get more attention than we would - but this was a bit ridiculous, in my opinion. As we walked in we were greeted by a teen saying how happy, playful, and wonderful this womans daughter was. All of the many women in nursery were enraptured talking about the antics of said baby who is currently sleeping. My baby was being held at the back of the room...I walked through the room and had to actually touch the person holding my baby for her to realize I was there and trying to take my baby. I felt like they really were pulling themselves away from the main event to tell me my baby was fine and seemed sleepy now. She's only 4 months and already being turned into a wall flower??!!?? Watching from the sidelines while others are treated as if they are more important - if she grows into a shy non-spotlight type on her own thats fine - but I don't want her there as a baby. All babies should be treated as the cutest in the nursery at least by whichever particular person is in charge of that baby.

It's stupid that I'm so upset - I shouldn't care. But when the girls were babies we lived close to three sets of grandparents, and aunts, uncles, cousins, great aunts, great uncles, etc, etc. And they were pretty much the only babies in our church so the church family spoiled them and loved on them. I know we made the decision to move away from the family, but I expected the church family to take over. To some extent they have - there are definitely people who take time out to love on my baby. But I hate that one so sweet is being under appreciated.

It's expecting too much to want others to see what I see in my children - that's why I'm their mama. (I'm reminding myself)

I'm now going to go read some news to remind myself how good we actually have it as a family and that there are definitely lots of children out their who deserve just as much loving as my children but who aren't getting any.

This blog brought to you by people who don't answer their phones when I need to vent.